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How to avoid presents that present problems

20 November 2008

It's hard to imagine anything more puzzling than your sister completely blanking you in the wake of Christmas. Low-key enquiries through other family members result in your father quipping in his typical clumsy manner "she was a bit upset about the book but I'm sure she'll get over it in time". The book in question was entitled "How to dress the fuller figure" which you thought was rather helpful given your sister's voluptuousness, but as it turns out, she's now going through a mid-life crisis and is suddenly now very sensitive about her size, having embarked on a very strict diet. She has even ordered her husband to pay for a gastric band as one of her Christmas presents.

Ok, so you were not to know. Had it been any other year this would have been one of the Christmas presents that your sister would have welcomed. If you are considerate, you will offer to replace her present with a book on how to overcome her dieting fears, a seaweed wrap treatment, or pay for a 1:1 personal trainer session. To be really charming, you could buy her a personally engraved silver compact handbag mirror – in said shape – to remind her of how beautiful she is. (You risk appearing a little bit grovelling here but she'll get the message and forgiveness will come quicker). Or, if you are a typical ostrich-type, you'll hope your father's right – that she will get over it, shrug it off, and hope you are on talking terms by Easter (just don't buy her a chocolate egg, for goodness sake!)

If you are buying Christmas Presents for people whom you don't see very often, making the right choice can be a challenge. Causing offence is the last thing you want to do but sometimes an innocent mistake can have biblical consequences – unless the recipient has a really good sense of humour. Your partner's mother is not going to be overjoyed with the Retro Sweet Hamper for example if she has just had her original teeth replaced with dentures. (Your cheeky alternative of the Grow It Cactus Plant might have made you chuckle but expect some prickly repercussions.) The personalised door mat for your nephew and his girlfriend will be returned by New Year's Eve when you learn that they separated after a huge argument at a pre-Christmas party…

If you like to buy your Christmas presents a little ahead be sure to retain your receipts just in case you have to swap them or return them (this doesn't apply to personalised gifts regrettably so if there is any doubt in your mind avoid the personalisation altogether). In addition, check your information is up to date. If you discover a recent diagnosis of ailments such as arthritis, diabetes or heartbreak, any display of sensitivity with the Christmas presents you give will be quietly appreciated and avoid any awkwardness. Avoid purchasing clothes if you don't know the person well (their personal style and colouring is so important) especially if you can't be certain of their size. Clothes with the label on and a receipt can usually be refunded or exchanged, but if you buy one or two sizes too big, expect trouble. A size too small will be taken as a compliment (although it won't be admitted!) Remember, the utterance of any tactless remarks can be blamed on over-consumption of Christmas punch, but the presentation of a gift that reminds of something upsetting will endure, and ultimately erode Christmas sprits.

There are purchases for Christmas presents that will catch you out quite innocently just because you were not aware of information that would have reversed your decision at the time. However, there are mistakes for which only you can be held responsible and there are some worthy tips to heed to avoid any awkward moments. Firstly, check your facts. When you misspell your assistant's first name every time you write her an email, and then give her a personalised mug with the same error, don't be surprised by the backlash. Second, reflect on historical chronology. What have you done in the past? What brought smiles, what caused arguments? At all costs, avoid repetition. Don't expect gratitude by buying the same Christmas presents year on year just because they were successful the first time. Did you hear of the husband who presented his wife with a beautiful original pashmina shawl in her favourite colour? Wife (cunningly): "What gave you this idea, darling?" Husband (proudly beaming): "I thought it might suit you when I saw someone who looked like you wearing one recently!" Wife (through gritted teeth): "That was me, you fool!" (Stage direction: exit husband, tail between legs. Wife logs on to Ebay…)



Related Article: How to Have Yourself a Merry Christmas with Fun Family Presents (Presents)
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