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There's blood on the pick 'n' mix

24 November 2008

The nation's high streets could quite possibly never be the same again, after news that one of the country's most iconic retailers is up for sale for a nominal price of £1. Apparently the 800-branch company is incredibly close to bankruptcy, although a stay of execution could be possible during the six-week lead up to Christmas when the company traditionally makes most of its profits.

Woolworths, or "Woollies" as it is also known, has a fond place in the hearts of many Britons. For teenagers with nothing to do on a wet Saturday morning, a local branch often proved to be a great place to hang out, mooch around, and generally explore. After all, with no real specialisations as far as many will remember, except perhaps for children's clothes, Christmas gifts and goods, and even the legendary pick 'n' mix sweets, each store was often a Mecca for anything and everything; a place where you could find things that were just not available anywhere else. Christmas gifts, cuddly toys, CD's, cassette tapes, puncture repair kits and lots and lots of sweets; they were all there for the taking back in the day. Maybe they still are, just covered in lots of dust because nobody apparently shops in Woolworths anymore.

So, perhaps putting the business up for sale for only a nominal sum might do the trick, and help bring the ageing retailer back to health. However, in the meantime, the company's heads should probably make use of a few more proverbial tricks up their sleeve as a way of keeping the business afloat. For example, in addition to improving their own range of Christmas gifts, they should probably increase their capital base by buying - and making use of - a few Christmas Gifts of their own.

And, if this is the case, the Capitalist Piggy Bank could be the ideal gift. Created out of material that makes it just like a piggy-shaped blackboard, it's the ideal savings product for directly writing anything on; from the terms and conditions of the saving programme, to the object of desire to be bought once the bank is full. And, because each Capitalist Piggy Bank comes with a rubber stopper for easily removing funds, it's guaranteed to represent at least one 'bank' that won't find itself getting smashed up after a run on deposits.

Alternatively, if Woolworths' executives really are actively looking to lift their spirits with a few early Christmas Gifts, then perhaps they should treat themselves to a few fun gifts that will take their mind off of potentially having nothing to do in the boardroom.

Take, for example, Flying Money; this gift is as fun in the boardroom as it is in the living room, office or even bedroom. Designed to glide through the air with the greatest of ease, Flying Monkey can travel up to a total of 15-metres, and even has the ability to make ape-like noises whilst on his travels. But, no matter what he gets up to, his identity will always remain secure; in addition to a fetching cape, he's also dressed in a fetching black mask. Flying Monkey also has a number of friends, including Flying Chicken and Flying Frog, which can also make amazing early Christmas Gifts.

And whilst taking time out with these early Christmas gifts, executives at the firm may wish to reminisce over days gone by. The company has come a long way since it first opened its doors in the UK on 5th November 1909, along Liverpool's Church Street. The firm once grew from strength to strength, and there was even a feature film entitled "The Girl from Woolworths", released by Warner Brothers in 1929. But, times change, and things move on. Maybe the company's time has passed, and maybe it's time for the dusty and bloodied pick 'n' mix to be finally swept up from the floor and respectfully disposed of. Only time will tell.



Related article: Counting the pennies? How to buy Christmas presents that won't break the bank. (Christmas Gifts)
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