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What Happens 3 Days After Making A New Year’s Resolution To Join A Gym

Written By Laura Scott
Friday 11 Dec 2015 16:03

The kids weren’t happy with you dropping them off at school dressed head-to-toe in lycra but no matter, because you’re a healthy-eating gym-going goddess now. Time to whip up a green smoothie in your new bullet blender.

You’re wondering if your smoothie is supposed to taste like grass when something on the breakfast news catches your eye. You really need to set off to the gym, but you need to find out if Buster the three-legged dog survived the house fire more.

Thank goodness Buster made it. You check your watch and rationally decide that you need to wait for a round number to set off to the gym.

Whoops, you missed the 10am window because you were cleaning your bullet blender. Who knew kale would dry out so fast…

You check Facebook to see how many likes your motivational gym status has. Ooh, 18 – that’s more than Karen’s yoga post. Pfft, yoga. Everyone knows it’s all about interval training.

You find yourself back on the sofa perusing the Internet for “fit-spiration”. Right, you will set off at 11 o’clock. Before you head off, you need to remove any traces of spinach from your teeth. As you take the stairs, you realise you’re still sore from yesterday’s workout. Ouch.


While flossing, you faintly recall reading an article that said you shouldn’t train when you’re aching. Well, you don’t want to risk injuring yourself – that will mean you won’t be able to go to the gym. You tell yourself slow progress is better than no progress, kick off your new trainers and sink back into the sofa.

The sound of the lunchtime news wakes you suddenly. Looks like you fell asleep. You must’ve needed it! And why do they make gym gear so comfy anyway?

The kids are in bed when you spot their half-eaten selection boxes. As it’s “rest day”, you’re allowed a treat. All that sugar is bad for them anyway. You see your Facebook status has hit an all-time high of 34 likes and feel a twinge of guilt. You will 100% go to the gym tomorrow. But check their cancellation policy just in case.