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What Happens 22 Hours After Being Stood Up On Valentine’s Day

Written By Pip Neesham
Friday 15 Jan 2016 15:02

What Happens 22 Hours After Being Stood Up On Valentine’s Day

You’ve been sat alone in a restaurant for an hour now. You’re on your second free glass of pity wine and are pretty sure the staff are betting on how long you’ll wait before giving up.

Draining your third free glass of wine, you accept the fact that he isn’t coming. What a waste of make-up.

You check your phone one last time, only to find a text from Dianne asking how the date is going. Fabulous. It turns out the sous-chef won the bet and isn’t being subtle about collecting his winnings as you make a sheepish exit.

Making an emergency ice-cream pit stop on your way home, you plan to get straight into your pyjamas and catch up on the soaps.

Another text from Dianne flashes up on your phone consisting only of multiple question marks and winky faces. It’s time to open your emergency bottle of wine.

Your alarm goes off. You try to steady your spinning head as the reality of the previous night comes flooding back. Did he really stand you up? Did you really eat the whole tub of ice cream? And why, oh why did you drink a whole bottle of wine on a Monday night?

You spend your commute to work regretting boasting about your hot date yesterday and wondering what an earth you’re going to tell people.

In attempt to save face, you tell Dianne an elaborate story involving a raccoon in the restaurant and an unexpected visit from the department of health. It’s the hangover talking.

Dianne forces you to retell your “hilarious” date story to everyone who walks by your desk, which means you repeatedly get to hear how wonderful everyone else’s Valentine’s Day was!

On your way home, you vow to deactivate your dating accounts and swear off men for good. Although, you’d better check the lovely doctor you were speaking to last week hasn’t been in touch first…

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